I recently celebrated my 30th birthday in Hawaii. I wanted to do something really fun and unique so I gathered a few brave friends and swam 30 min out to Chinaman’s Hat  and free-hand climbed up rocky terrain to the top of the small island to enjoy a 180 degree view of Kane’ohe Bay. (no photos of the view since I couldn’t bring my phone).

Afterwards we grabbed a few drinks at Crouching Lion (not a fan of the Lion’s punch) and downstairs to the Fine Ass Chocolates. It was a great way to ring in my 30’s.

A few weeks after my 30th birthday I was getting rid of my possessions in order to backpack through Asia. I came across a photo of me taken on my 20th birthday in Montreal.

As someone who constantly reflects on life and lessons learned I looked at this 20 yr old and I barely recognize myself. It seems a lot longer than 10 years ago….I can recall my life (and that day) in great detail but it feels more like a dream then my history. Everything has changed. Everything. I am not the same person, but also on some basic level I am the exact same.

I feel bad for the girl in this picture in some ways- she has no idea what is coming to her. She thought she had been through it all, but there is much much more coming. She thought life would get more simple and the answers would be clearer…but they only got more blurry before they would become more clear.

If I could send a message to my 20-yr-old-self I would include these short but direct statements:

You’re Bad-Ass, but not unbreakable.

You look amazing- stop worrying.

Forgive now (and yes you can cut ties).

You have great talent and you’re different; don’t hide it to fit into the ‘norm’.

You’re not alone in this.

Working hard wont get you as far as working smart.

All those issues you buried? They are coming back, be ready.

Enjoy life.

Keep pushing those boundaries and get to know your limits in a healthy way.

Put you first, 20 yrs old is a great time to be selfish.

Ask for help…..

….And Be open to accept it.

It’s Never too early to explore your purpose, yes you do have one.

You won’t find your purpose walking someone else’s path, you can only take notes.

You’re a hell of a lot younger than you think you are- stop pushing it.

You won’t be the same person at 30.

You’ll be tested, often. Stay strong it DOES get better.

It is my hope that on my 40th birthday I will look back on my 30’s and say…’Great job. You paved the way in your 20’s, settled into your truest self in your 30’s and my 40 yr old self is loving every second of it!’ I guess we will know in another 10 years.

 

What would say to your 20 yr old self?